Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.

My Dad thinks he wears ...

My Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it`s always Mum who tells him which pair to put on!

How many ears did ...

How many ears did Davy Crockett have? Three: a left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier!

What did the father ghost ...

What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you`re spooken to!

One evening a little girl ...

One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said, "Daddy, you`re the boss, aren`t you?" Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said yes. The little girl continued "That`s because Mummy put you in charge, right?"